The Secret Lives of Church Ladies | Review

Y’all know I’ve been on #TheWay for awhile now. I grew up in the church. I left. I ran back. I’ve been all over this yellow brick road we call #spirituality in the west. Yet, this book of short stories, The Secret Lives of Church Ladies, stopped me in my tracks; as I mourned the death of my favorite church lady (Grandma).

It reminded me of when my Grandma stood up at the annual church meeting and argued in favor of two women becoming deacons in the faces of men who couldn’t see the vision. Yes, she was wearing a bright suit with a legendary hat. Yes, she was still revered as a #churchmother. And yes, the women ended up becoming deacons.

“Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the LORD.” (Jeremiah 1:8, KJV)

It challenged my politics and reminded me of my marginalized friends who never stopped breaking 🥖 with me regardless of how messy my life seemed. Who knowingly and unknowingly sang hymns, uttered proverbs, spoke in parables, and served up #Truth. They walked and talked like #Jesus. (Yes, I’m talking about the #brownskinned radical with fiery eyes and a #fro who #loves on the margins and rebuked those who refused to).

It tickled my funny bone (in my grandma’s words) and left me speechless between paragraphs. This book felt like a peak into the lives of my elders and peers. It also felt like a big ole mirror.

Yet, morning by morning new mercies I see. If you’re reading this it's not too late. You do too.

22 It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Jesus told us that angels celebrate our transformation for the better. Lucille Clifton told us that every day a non-white woman survives is reason to celebrate. Deesha Philyaw illuminates this particular resilience via riveting short stories. It's so brilliant. She did her thang with this one.

What would my foremothers have to say about my secret church lady life? What would my peers? What would God? #IDKforsure

All I know is that I want people to remember the way I made them feel. (Word to another church mother, Maya Angelou). I'd want them to remember my attempts at love, truth, and tenderness. I'd want them to remember my HUMANITY. In an era where many impose the superhero archetype onto black women. As if we're supposed to save imperialist, white supremacist, capitalist patriarchy. (Word to bell hooks). Philyaw reminds us of our humanity, and I'm grateful.